Looking for love in all the wrong places

The other day I was having a conversation with a fellow Jew about life, love, and Israel. This particular individual was from America and had been living in Israel this past year. As the conversation continued, he went on to tell me that he had come to Israel with an open mind and thought maybe he would meet someone and want to stay.

As the story goes, he did not meet his soul mate, nor did he find an easy way to make money, and now he plans to go back to America. His theory was, that despite all the financial and economic woes, his odds of “making it” were better there in America than here.

I decided to challenge his druthers about staying in Israel with the following argument: The first question I asked him was what kind of girl are you looking for?

The answer he gave me was pretty vague and otherwise typical. “ I don’t know man…. someone cool, religious, attractive” etc.

My follow up question was; how have you gone about trying to find her? At this point he got a little uncomfortable and finally muttered “truthfully not that much”. Upon further reflection he confided in me that this particular point was a major regret of his.

Knowing that he was using these “reasons” to justify his wanting to leave, I decided to call him out on it. I told him that as a twenty eight year old male who seems to be relatively normal and decent looking, he should have no problem meeting women. I went on to say that as a married man simply walking the streets of Jerusalem, I literally trip over eligible women everywhere. How is it possible that you can’t meet anybody? If you are interested in meeting a quality English speaking woman you will find her in Israel.

Why?

If she is here, then she is the kind of individual who wants something more and real, which is why she separated herself from the pack and came to Israel in the first place. A girl who came here from somewhere else is passionate and believes in something greater. This is a girl you want to meet.

My next question I asked him was how much money do you think you have to earn to “make it” in America?

Upon acknowledging that these days raising a religious family in America is quite a pricey game, he nevertheless insisted that despite the higher cost he felt more capable of achieving financial success in America than in Israel.

Since the person I was speaking with considered himself religious and G-d fearing, I felt bold enough to challenge him further. I asked him if he thought his success rested on his shoulders alone or did G-d’s will have anything to do with it as well? “ Of course it’s all G-d, he said. I know that!” Well, I said, if you admit that it’s all G-d then perhaps it’s possible that G-d can provide you with what you need here in Israel? I mean it’s only logical that the same G-d who split the sea could very well allow you with the opportunity to pay your bills? God can produce shekels for you, just like he can produce dollars.

At the very least, you don’t know unless you try. Lets say for argument sake, you decided that Israel is where you’re meant to be, and that notion in and of itself is a Jewish value worth pursuing. Perhaps G-d will enable you to see your dreams through? At the very least one needs to take the first step and get their toes wet by trying.

We just celebrated Tu Ba Av the other day. This day symbolizes love and a kind of renewal in the Jewish Calender coming less than a week after our saddest day of the year. I wish all those looking for love to look in the right places.

For all those who are still living outside of G-d’s country, I implore you to look towards your country with love and take the necessary plunge by coming here. If you are in need of a mate then you are in luck. She or he is amazing and they are already in Israel. Don’t think so? Come here and prove me wrong!

3 Responses to “Looking for love in all the wrong places”

Comment from tzina
Time י״ח באב ה׳תש״ע (July 29, 2010) at 2:35 pm

As it says in the Shema, with all your heart, all your soul, and all of our resources.

This is the only way to approach aliyah. When we allow ourselves to believe that we can always ‘go back’, that there are ‘other’ options available to us; then our aliyah will fail.

We come here asking to become Israeli. Well then, become an Israeli. Put your birthplace passport out of reach, and forget all about it. Spend your time making a home for yourself here and not just being a tourist. Live in this land, fight for what is right – in this land, and love this land! Leave the diaspera behind you.

As for being single in Israel. Wow, do I ever understand how difficult it is here. This is very much a family orientated society and far too often singles are forgotten and discarded. Without family, or friends here in Israel it is hard, but not impossible. B”H! One day soon, you will find everything you need.

Chazak! Chazak!

Comment from Schirah Verde
Time י״ח באב ה׳תש״ע (July 29, 2010) at 3:35 pm

You make a great counselor..great answers so how did this guy finally respond? Is there a “rest of the story?”

Comment from Michael Berezin
Time כ״ה באב ה׳תש״ע (August 5, 2010) at 10:39 am

Thank you, sadly I think he went back to America. The rest of the story still hasn’t been told yet. I am hopeful he will return as will countless others, so that we might all merit the redemption together.