Update from chutz-la'artetz: It's enough to make a lazy man cry

I'm a lazy person. Well, I like to call myself relaxed but my mother, she says it's laziness. I'm not all that into things like working out, I think one of the best things about dressing in black in white is that I never have to pick out what I'm going to wear, and I recently switched dorm rooms in the yeshiva citing having to go walk a shorter distance to the beit midrash for davening in the morning as one of the key points of the move. About a week ago I stepped off a plane from Tel Aviv to Newark and I got hit by a really emotional moment. It was the first time in months I walked through a doorway without a mezuzah on it and I almost started to cry. But... now after about a week in chutz-la'aretz with my emotions having calmed down, it's now become else entirely that almost has me in tears- all the extra hustle and bustle my poor lazy rear-end has to go through.

In Israel, especially in cities like Jerusalem there is a shul on every corner. To find a minyan you literally don't have to walk more than ten minutes. Heck, if your really gutsy you can try and just grab ten guys off the street and daven on the corner of King George and Ben Yehuda, which several friends of mine and I have done so don't think I'm exaggerating! Now I find myself lost in a strange land where I sometimes have to sit in traffic for 40 minutes do daven with a minyan. Before I had to decide between which of eight kosher pizza places to eat at. Now I'm faced with choices lie getting pizza or not eating because there's only one kosher restaurant in town and that's all they serve.

Now perhaps if you live in Monsey, Boro Park, or LA then you don't feel my pain. For the rest of you “out of towners” there might be those who cite the fact that in the old days we had to deal with pogroms and inquisitions and feel we should be overjoyed these are the biggest problems one should have to face as a Jew in America today. But I know in my heart of hearts that there are those out there who are like me, those who dream of something better. There are those who strive for a more happy and carefree life of not having to worry where your next kosher steak is going to come from. To you, my brothers and sisters, I say no more! We're the few, the proud, the lazy, and we deserve to live in a country where you don't have to sit next to a non-Jew on the the bus happily chowing down on some fresh McDonalds while you look on with longing eyes! Pack your bags now, come home, and take comfort in the fact that if you want a chalav-yisroel candy bar all you need do is get off your chair and walk to the corner store!

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Declaring Independence - On Israel's 60th Birthday

On this, the holy occasion of the 60th birthday of the Modern State of Israel, I want to share with you how truly happpy I am, with all my heart, to be living in the State of Israel today. So many good Jews have fallen prey to the cynicism and dysphoria sown by lost souls and destroyers, causing them to reject and slander the State of the Jews, decrying its birth and publicly deploring it.

I reject this attitude and practice, now and forever. I declare that the Ehud Olmerts, Dorit Beinisches, and Yisroel Dovid Weisses of this world will NOT steal this state from me, nor will they rape me of my love, joy, and hope for the future of this incredible, flourishing project. I'll be damned if I will budge one inch in ceding my country or my spirit to them, or to those who join them in their practice of shaming, violating, and quashing the Jewish people on their soil.

I declare Independence, on behalf of all the good, sweet, hard-working Jews of Israel, from the mind-control of repression, injustice, and lies perpetrated by a small group of oligarchs, and vow that I will make it my life's mission to establish the Jewish people, proudly, eternally, as a "free nation in our Land". Free to embrace our identity, to love one another, to work together, to seek justice, to serve G-d without shame or inhibition. This is MY country, and if I have to fight my own small War of Independence everyday for the rest of my life, that is what I will do.

At this time, 60 years ago, after a global attempt to annhilate them utterly, the Jewish people struggled with the last breath left in their body to wrest life from the clutches of a cruel world. Some of those whose lives were built on hardship and dreams for the future survived the camps to die on the battlefield. They did not give in to the mighty evil which had battled them for so long, in so many permutations, but rather declared their independence from fear and faced their destiny boldly and simply, fighting for the establishment of a small, precious Jewish State.

Because of these, and so many who have lived and died for the nation of Israel in the last 60 years, as well as the last 600 and before, we are here on our holy soil today. Let us not give any more power to the forces of gloom and doubt, but rather take up the torch of our fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers who carried Hashem's promise to the Jewish people deep in their hearts. Damn those who place obstacles in our path, cloud our minds, and darken our hearts. Declare your Independence today, and let's pray that together, we will live to celebrate the destruction of our enemies and the defeat of evil forces within and without. Let's pray that together, we will celebrate the 100th birthday of the Modern State of Israel on the Holy Land of Israel, the glory of the world, the rightful inheritance of our people.

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Monopoly Isn't Just A Game Anymore

In a recent post, I complained about a Facebook application removing Judea and Samaria from the map of Israel, thereby prohibiting me from illustrating where I live on my profile page. I was angry that global politics had to affect something so pop-light as my Facebook profile, home to things like Zombies, Pokes, and Hatching Eggs.

Well, it appears that the global jihad just can't keep its grubby hands out of my life, and has even invaded childhood games - to that, I say "Do not pass go, do not collect $200."

I wish there were a way to display the disgusted head shaking and heavy sigh that were elicited from me when I heard about the utterly lame Monopoly scandal. If you're just making your way back from a 6 week vacation in the Tibetan country side, I'll fill you in: Hasbro, makers of the well-known Monopoly board game, decided to make an international edition, allowing people from around the world to vote for cities which would appear as squares or "properties" on the board.

In the grand tradition of the Olympics and Eurovision, patriots and loyalists around the world took to their keyboards, voting for their various cities. And then came Islam.

As per the paradoxical usual, in which Arabs are swift, organized, resourceful and ambitious in screwing up someone else's good day (and altogether incapable of any other productive endeavor), they made a big ruckus over how Jerusalem REALLY belongs to the Palestinians, blah, blah, blah, and Hasbro removed the name of Israel from alongside Jerusalem - so while Marrakesh would should up as Marrakesh, Morocco, and Sydney would show up as Sydney, Australia, Jerusalem just showed up as Jerusalem. Kind of like what will happen on my daugter's US passport now that we've registered here as having been born in the Holy City.

Of course, Jews around the world protested this rude deletion, to which Hasbro responded by removing all country names from voting. Sydney is just Sydney, and Marrakesh is just Marrakesh. And Jersualem is just Jerusalem.

Is it just me, or can this type of struggle against niche anti-Zionism become really lame and boring? So many good people spend so much time fighting over minute issues of Jewish rights and recognition in little local papers, university seminars, and Monopoly votes. Is it worth our time?

I am conflicted on the issue. On the one hand, I can't tell you how much I want to escape from these fights, which I find to be kind of pathetic and useless. So much of the world is converted to Islamophilia (or maybe it's just Islamophobia), that I doubt another letter to the editor in some small town paper is going to change much. On the other hand, how can we stand silently in ANY forum when lies are being disseminated and Jewish rights are threatened? Is it important to vote for Jerusalem in Monopoly, to have our city represented in some stupid game, or is it now important NOT to vote for Jerusalem, because it is being touted as some kind of international no-man's-land?

What do you think?

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15 Seconds With The President

There's a lot of hubbub surrounding the visit of US President George W. Bush.

The Post-Zionist Left, face it, is wetting itself with anticipation over the prospect of Bush backing Israel into a corner and, as the uberscuzzy editor of Haaretz so Haaretzly put it, raping our country of any last vestiges of meaning or dignity. They're hoping Bush will pizzazz the land right out from under us, hacking away at the most biblical of our biblical lands, and ultimately bringing down the Zionists, who are like so many pesky cockroaches revealing themselves after a bug bomb.

This morning, as our mountaintop was covered with a welcome low-hanging cloud after some much needed nighttime rainfall, we heard a familiar sound - the approach of a Blackhawk.
Because of our proximity to both Ramallah and Baal Hatzor, as well as our possession of a nice, uninhabited flat space, we are frequented by practicing pilots, who land and take off, land and take off.

As we were listening to the buzzing and swooshes, my husband commented to me that perhaps they are practicing bringing in Bush - after all, Bush's entourage is rumored to be planning a Ramallah visit, making a helicopter landing and drive through Beit El somewhat likely. Olmert's government is going to be doing everything in its power to keep Bush away from any real people or places during his visit (we wouldn't want the endearing qualities of the Jewish people to get in the way of our cold, heartless peace plans, now would we?), so it's quite possible that he will be whisked above the annoying realities, and come to Ramallah via helicopter.

So I asked my husband: "What if he does land here, and we have the chance to speak to him for 15 seconds? What would you say?" That got us thinking.

By the by, you never know. I recommend that you all prepare 15 seconds worth of material - who knows if G-d will make you the shaliach for His message to this King of America.

What would you say? "Free Jonathan Pollard!" "Go back to Texas!" "Please, don't divide Jerusalem - you don't want that kind of Wrath, trust me."

So I leave it to you: What would YOU say to President George W. Bush if you ran into him in Israel?

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NOT Wishing You a Shana Tova

My inbox is filling up with a lot of spam, and it's really annoying.

The subject is invariably the same: Shana Tova.

I've been hearing from acquaintances with whom I haven't spoken for years who probably hit "send" to everyone in their contact list; PR companies for whom it'll be a good year if they get some press out of the people on their mailing list; random people whose names I don't recognize. My particular favorites are those from old flames who take advantage of the Jewish New Year to reconnect with me. (Many singles out there use the holiday as an excuse to flirt - you know who you are...) It's a Rosh HaShana spam fest, and it's doubly annoying when they include files or pictures over 1 MB. Stop cramming my computer!

These Shana Tova greetings are impersonal and disingenuous. I know the majority of these Jewish spammers don't really mean to wish me a good year. They're being polite, getting over a formality, and kissing tails (and not the heads). But it's not polite. It's actually very rude. If you want to wish me a happy new year, personalize the greeting so that I know you mean it, send it to ME only, or else end up in my junk folder.

So this Rosh HaShanah I'm not wishing anyone a fake "good year", but I will wish everyone who reads this an original, thoughtful new year's greeting inspired by Britney Spears. There's been a lot of media buzz over her allegedly failed performance at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs). I agree the performance lacked her usual power and verve, even though the ex-pop goddess always holds a special place in my heart.

And so, to all my readers and friends, may you be like the head: like Britney's performance at the 2000 VMA’s: full of passion, strength, beauty, certainty, power, focus, concentration, successful and lots of fun.
[Editor's note: Be forewarned. Britney is not wearing much at all in either video.]
Click here to view

And may you not be like the tail: like Britney's failed performance at the 2007 VMA’s: unfocused, uncertain, inauthentic, stumbling, floppy, and lazy.
Click here to view

I wish Britney Spears and the Jewish people a year of healing, self-knowledge, personal growth, inner strength and some sanity (including yours truly).

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The Boring Galut "Controversies"

I trust you have all read the Noah Feldman controversy. Its basically the story of a successful graduate of Maimonides high school who went on to Harvard law, the CFR, and the New York Times. Recently he wrote a well written, but utterly self-serving article about how since his intermarriage, he has been ostracized from the Orthodox community and that his picture has been airbrushed away from the Alumni newsletter. Throughout the article Noah throws in some jabs at Modern-Orthodoxy to which he has a love/hate relationships. The article was in the NY Times and has since elicited responses (some very good ones) from rabbis, columnists and many many bloggers. I shall not repeat what has been already hashed out.

I would like to point out one thing though: this essay and its resulting hubbub is yet another of the Galut community's obsession with "issues" that don't matter so much. Remember the Brit Milla issue that had the American Jewish world storming? Remember the not-so-kosher-chicken fiasco of Monsey? And now the case of the whining intermarried Harvard-grad! They all seem like big issues when you are in Galut, but when you are in Israel, all these things seem like a joke. Why? Because here we deal with Jewish war and Jewish nation building, we deal with Jewish education, care for Holocaust survivors, Jewish land and the Jewish future. The giant "controversies" of America are nothing more than entertaining spats to be intellectually debated in the ever-shrinking circles of the Galut.

Do us a favor and wake up. We have bigger fish to fry in the greatest Jewish project of all time - the building of Israel. Let the Noah Feldman's whine about Modern-Orthodox mistreatment - but don't give them a bigger platform than they deserve. They are really boring as compared with the very big, very real, and very exciting issues we face here daily.

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Time to Stop Playing with Our Balls and Strikes

This debate about baseball in Israel has gone just about far enough. Perhaps we have become so insensed by the current state of affairs in Israel, or have been so numbed by a corrupt system that remains in power, that we have decided to turn our attention to an easier target: recreation and entertainment.

Recreation is good. Professional entertainment bad. Fine. Case and point. I like baseball, and just may see a game before this summer is out, because I still retain many habits from a former life in the United States, like surfing the internet past my bedtime.

But here at Kumah, we are supposed to be shining Israel in a positive light wherever possible, pointing out areas critical for the growth of this nation, and pushing American aliyah.

I am quite worried that this hit and run on America's pasttime now in Israel, runs counter to the goals of our organization.

American Jews love American sports. This phenomenon is a little difficult to understand, even for myself who to this day thinks of the ballpark anytime I smell a freshly cut lawn.

Moving to Israel is hard. Real hard. Don't let these Aliyah junkies tell you otherwise. Most American olim consciously and unconsciously look far and wide to seek out the comforts of the old country here in our new habitat. Whether it is Hellman's mayonaise or a trip to Ikea, these creature comforts help us feel at home in our elevated environs.

I am quite afraid that this battery on baseball--a familiar face to many olim who feel as if they have left many wonderful things behind to begin a better life--might make future olim uncomfortable.

I worry that potential olim, and others reading this blog may begin to think that we have struck out swinging. We don't need to attack anything and everything that runs counter to the religious ideal. We need religious and non-religious Jews who like baseball to come make Aliyah, and help strengthen our nation.

There are a lot of problems in Israel and within American Jewry. Baseball, for better or for worse, is not one of them.

Look at the coaches signs, there is a lot of work to do here. I think we should step up to the plate, and try to hit a home run on some serious issues in this country, before our society gets picked off trying to steal a base.

And I also think that for those of us who don't like professional sports--in a land where soccer goons riot, and a basketball team routinely wins the European championship--paying any additional mind to this baseball league is simply giving more attention to another business started in Israel with private American investment.

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Olah Olot Strike Back at Der Forvard ('The Forward' - so this will be Googlable)

A new immigrant resident of Neve Daniel figured, hey, this nice girl from Der Forvard wants to come do a story on Aliyah - let me welcome her into my home. Foward's Orly Hapern, bothered by the specter of settlers taking a little bit of Teaneck with them, writes this article (a fun read - possibly even recruiting some olim from Teaneck - but not very nice to her host family and an obvious case of creative quote-bending).

Olah Lara Kwalbrun strikes back:

Dear editors and writers of The Forward,

My name is Lara Kwalbrun and I am a resident of Neve Daniel who was interviewed by Orly Halpern for her June 6th article. I am writing to say that I am both insulted and disgusted by Ms. Halpern's opportunistic use of my hospitality as a means to misquote me and misrepresent the lifestyle my family and I live in Yesha.

To start, our home does NOT "boast" a jacuzzi, fireplace, or a manicured lawn. Neither is it "surrounded by Arab villages" but overlooks the city of Beitar Illit on one side and Efrat (with over 8,000 Jewish residents) on the other. Ms. Halpern asked me if this life isn't better than what we left behind in New Jersey and I told her that we had a nicer and easier lifestyle in America but believe strongly in yishuv haaretz.

In addition, what Ms. Halpern pens as a direct quote is nothing short of a fabrication. She writes, "'Before we found Neve Daniel, my husband told me, 'I love you and I want to live in Israel, but I'm very materialistic and if I don't have a nice house, we're not moving.'" Actually we moved to a rental in Alon Shevut in August of 2005 with no plans to buy for a while. We only purchased the house after realizing that there was very little real estate in the area that we had grown to love that was available. Our moving to Israel had absolutely nothing to do with buying a house; rather, when my husband got a job in Israel we felt that we had no good reason to stay in America regardless of the good lifestyle. We left our jobs, home, families, friends, and native country to move to Israel and Yesha where we felt that our presence makes a difference in what is the ancient heartland of Eretz Yisrael; my family and I resent what we consider to be a libelous and fictitious representation of our goals and the words I used to define them. In addition the openness with which we greeted Ms. Halpern was returned with an attempt on her part to trivialize and reduce the American-Jewish struggle to leave what is easy and safe and re-cast themselves as immigrants in a land that is both strange and wonderful.

My family and I expect that The Forward will take some sort of action to rectify the egregious errors and misrepresentations that make up Ms. Halpern's article. At the very least she should apologize to my husband whose decision to move here was out of love and responsibility despite the fact that he speaks no Hebrew and cannot yet practice medicine in this country.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Dr. Lara Kwalbrun

Her neighbor, Laura Ben-David, wrote:

I was excited to read the article "Suburbia Sells Settlers on the West Bank" by Orly Halpern (June 6) as it is about Neve Daniel, the place that I've called home for the past five years. I'm sorry to say that I was utterly disappointed. We, too, moved from a lovely home, ours in beautiful Boca Raton, Florida. Your article suggests that we are a bunch of rich snobs looking for a great real estate deal. Nothing could be further from the truth. We left Boca Raton and its green, manicured, country club-like atmosphere for something real. We left what was physical and material for something genuine and spiritual. We left what had merely been our home to create a new life in our homeland. A wonderful, meaningful, and truly enjoyable life. One that is not bound by the trappings of "keeping up with the Joneses"; A burden that we were only too happy to be rid of.

Once we chose to make the big move to Israel, choosing where to live was huge. We made several pre-Aliyah trips, and did a lot of research. In the end we chose Gush Etzion for one main reason - neither materialistic nor political in nature. We chose the Gush for its excellent education. Yes, education. Having brought four kids with us, from 7th grade down to kindergarten, we wanted to make sure to meet their needs. So we chose Gush Etzion. As for Neve Daniel, we chose it for the weather, the amazing people and the truly unbelievable 360 degree views.

Our life is nothing like it was in Boca. Like many of our friends who made Aliyah, we sacrificed lots of things like a second car and a swimming pool. Plus, we need to watch our budget much more carefully than we did in America. Is it worth it? And how! We are no longer in the "rat race". Our lives are so much richer than ever before; our happiness is deeper; I can honestly say that we are content. My "take home message" is that Israel is not about a standard of living - it is about living to a higher standard.

Laura Ben-David
Neve Daniel, Israel

Author of "MOVING UP: An Aliyah Journal"

My take? It is a blessing that comfortable communities like Neve Daniel exist. Folks like Ms. Halpern are always looking for different ways to mock or mourn the return of Jews to Judea. The moral of the story (for those who didn't know already): The Forward operates under the same ethical assumptions and directives as Haaretz - it ain't your grand-daddy's yiddish paper no more.

There is a tendency among Israel news readers to sometimes be dismissive of Arutz-7, due to what is seen as its obvious 'bias'. The truth is that there exists no Israeli news site without a bias - the problem is dishonesty and lying about the facts. A news agency's responsibility is to be honest about its underlying assumptions: whether they be that UN resolutions and a leftist interpretation of international law are Divine, or whether the Jewish people's right to the Land of Israel is both historically and Biblically mandated; Arutz-7 operates under the latter assumption. The other news agencies operating in Israel are not honest about their underlying assumptions, but far worse, have no compunctions about playing with facts, quotes and statistics to bolster the editorial line. I am not saying A7 never makes mistakes, but I truly believe it is as close as you can get at this point in time to honest journalism in Israel (this is without even going into the corporate ownership and state-control of Israeli media and the Federation and Big-Leftist-Jewish money bolstering papers like the Forward).

Update: Laura Ben-David's letter is due to be printed in The F, albeit they changed her home country from Israel to the narrow strip of land holding the west side of the puny Jordan River from spilling over (hat tip: NG, who would never miss and opportunity to accost such offenders)

Another letter sent to the Forward (and then to me):

To the Editor,
It is too bad Orly Halperin was so focused on the materialistic aspect of the high standard of living found in Yesha communities in Israel. This fact is not really "news", as all over the world communities outside of major cities are more affordable and more spacious. Suburbs in America are always about a better materialistic standard of living. Although I would not exagerrate to the extent that Ms. Halpern has, making Neve Daniel sound like the "Bel Air" of the settlements, when in most cases families still sacrifice much to come here, such as a second car, or a pool, and lets not forget that "jacuzzi and fireplace" which is not standard equipment in homes even in Neve Daniel; it is still true that it is an easier transition for Jews from U.S. suburbs to move to places like Gush Etzion. However, a much more important story would be to focus on the clear improvement in the more spritual aspects of living in a community. No matter how wonderful the Jewish communities of Cedarhurst, Teaneck or in my case Los Angeles, it is another world here in our "gated communities" more aptly described as "yishuv kehillati", or "Congregational Community". On a yishuv, such as Neve Daniel, or Alon Shvut where I am from, there is a spirit and social cohesion which is impossible to create in an American suburb. This is the true reason many American Jews seem to be coming to the 'burbs here in Israel. This enormous improvement in the spiritual quality of life which is attained by coming to yishuvim is the real story and is worthy of an article in the Forward, and not the trivializing of the true nature of "yishuv ha' aretz" (settling the Land) which Ms Halperin's article so deftly does. I invite Ms. Halpern to come visit Gush Etzion again, for any holiday of her choosing, or Shabbat, as my guest, and I and my family and my community will show her the true appeal of Yesha and Israel.

Donna Zeff
Alon Shvut
Gush Etzion
Israel

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Look Mom, I'm on Google!!!

Every now and again I like to Google myself. (Yes, I just used Google as a verb - as well as a noun, in this sentence.)

I know. It sounds terribly egotistical. But, frankly, I have an inquiring mind, and I want to know where I stand in cyberspace.

Depending on how I spell my name (Zev, Zeev, Ze'ev...) I come across thousands of entries.

Here are two of the more entertaining ones.

1) From a comment on Matthew Yglesias's The Atlantic Online blog:

The Michael Rubin policy wonk neocons know full well that they're lucky to have escaped the noose for what they've done to America's place in the world vis a vis the Iraqi debacle and are afraid to go on the record again. Their real agendas can be found in the ravings of louche neocons Michael Freund, Caroline Glick, and Zev Orenstein. In short- they want to drop thermonuclear bombs on Iran, Syria, and Mecca. This is their hot and sticky dream scenario.

To be totally honest, I haven't a clue as to what the guy is talking about. But, I am flattered to be put in the same company as Michael Freund and Caroline Glick. My only guess is that he might be referring to this article of mine.

And, as far as what might constitute my hot and sticky dream scenario... since this is a family oriented blog, something things are better left unsaid.

2) Recently, I was asked to write a d'var Torah for one of the many weekly Parsha sheets that are distributed in shuls throughout Israel.

Lo and behold... While I wasn't paid for doing so, it seems that I was given the title of Rabbi...

Kashrut
Rabbi Ze'ev Orenstein

Written by the rabbi...

Click here for more Shiurim by Rabbi Ze'ev Orenstein

I wonder if this makes me the first louche, neocon Rabbi?

-----

According to Dictionary.com, louche means:

• Dubious; shady; disreputable.
• Of questionable taste or morality; decadent.

And, neocon means:

"Neoconservatism is the first variant of American conservatism in the past century that is in the 'American grain.' It is hopeful, not lugubrious; forward-looking, not nostalgic; and its general tone is cheerful, not grim or dyspeptic. Its 20th-century heroes tend to be TR, FDR, and Ronald Reagan. Such Republican and conservative worthies as Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, Dwight Eisenhower, and Barry Goldwater are politely overlooked." [Irving Kristol, "The Neoconservative Persuasion," in "The Weekly Standard," Aug. 25, 2003]

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Israel Day Parade?

Heyo,

So I was going to write this a couple of days ago. But a wise person once told me, to never write when your really angry, instead, chill out a bit, and see if you still feel what you want to say, because words are very powerful, and once spoken, are very hard to retract. So going against my nature, I listened...

This post will not be as sharp as it was going to be, but still voice some harsh criticism. A part of me feels that I am not in the position to say what I am about to, but I waited till the chill took over, and I still don't get it. I know I still live in America, and I know that some people think that, in itself, would nullify any views that I have about Israel and its future, however, I am a Jew, before an American, and for that reason, I feel a connection to a place that is not currently my reality (except when I close my eyes), but is still close to my heart. So for everyone reading this, take this paragraph as a warning, and if you are one of those that feel only people living in Israel should have a view regarding its land, proceed with caution.


That being said, I am proud to admit that I boycotted the Salute to Israel day Parade in NYC this lovely Sunday. Instead, I took my bike up to my nephews and went biking and had a bon fire. I have been going to this yearly salute to Israel parade for a while. Sometimes I march and other times I help activism run freely through the crowds of on lookers. But this year, I refused to be a part of it. The reason is really quite simple, but since I am Jewish, I will try to make it as confusing as possible.

Last week, I felt the Israeli people had the capacity to over throw the most corrupt government that I have ever known. Not only the ever so popular monetary issues, but also moral, and worst of all lack of common sense and direction for their nation. Before the Winograd Commission came out, most people that know how to use any part of their brain could have told you that Olmert and his club members were unqualified and incompetent with running our precious country. But that was all "here say" since no factual "proof" was at hand. Kind of like when my friends wouldn't believe me when I would tell them that leaving Gush Katif would do more harm then heal, nearly two years ago. Today we know this as a fact, and no one will deny this. But before Gilad was kidnapped and havoc ran free in the strip, no one would believe this un documented concoction I was ranting about. Well Israelis, you got your proof. Are you satisfied now? Will you listen next time? Now, after its not only common knowledge that Olmert, Pertz, and Livni have no clue what they were and are doing, but it has been documented and accepted by a "commission" What are you going to do? Ohhh, lets all shudder, as if this knowledge was just unraveled and came to light out of the blue. But okay, I don't live in Israel, so this is me NOT judging until I am in the position. But as humans, when we find something out, that we know is wrong, and it's been proved and explained via hundreds of pages, GET UP AND DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeh, a rally of 150,000 people, that's a nice START... but hello, it's a start, not a response. Please tell me that wasn't your response. Look in the mirror, look who you are, and what each of you can do, realize that if one time you got over 100k, then DO IT AGAIN. Stop settling, and accepting the situation that you have allowed yourselves to be placed in (this is me NOT ranting). But for this reason, I did not go to a parade in AMERICA and wave a white and blue flag, that signifies a people that accept a government that allows its soldiers to be put in clear and present danger and NOT DO ANYTHING.

I will not associate myself with that. And although that flag signifies other stuff aside for the corrupt government, but in America, the flag represents the country. And right now, I can't. I just can't. Its one thing in America when citizens dislike President Bush and balm him for a war that some say he created. But where is my little "proof." The one thing that no one can bash. Who will admit with a clear conscience that the Israeli government has its citizen's intentions close to heart, or even near its body?

Then there is this parade, of people that wave a flag and prance around NYC all proud of supporting Israel, which I think is great, awesome, sweet, but really. I mean, really. Do you really need this kind of support, when you can't even get a government that doesn't care about you, OUT? What's up with Shas? Will they stay in a coalition that they know helped facilitate a war that was not planed from day one, and knew no victory. Israelis, who do you vote for? Who do you follow? Leaders that go toward money and when push comes to shove, will side with the corrupt rather then step down?

No I will not wave an Israeli flag in a parade down my hood. No I will not side with the corrupt government, nor with people that aren't pressuring their "leaders" to do the right thing. As you can see, you can't rely on them, now it's up to you. Or you can just follow and let our captive brothers stay where they are, and allow another war to ensue, and smile when you read about a bunch of Americans waving an Israelite flag through New York City.

I am really trying NOT to rant, and be chilled about wishing some of you could get some New York attitude in your system, and kick some... So instead, I am going to let you read the lyrics to a song, that when played really LOUD helps. I don't really like the band, but the lyrics are too perfect for what ALL Israelis should be feeling right now

You can listen to it,HERE

Partial lyrics: Dixie Chicks - Not ready to make nice:

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

I'm through, with doubt,
There's nothing left for me to figure out,
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and I kind of like it

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

I think this song is VERY self explanatory toward the topic at hand. However, if you would like me to reiterate the meaning that I find in it, I will be more the happy to comply. But for now, I think this post is long enough, and I hope I didn't upset too many people. But I'm not ready to back down, and you shouldn't either. I am here in NY and I am begging you guys, to WAKE UP, and don't just "get over it and make nice" because it's your life on the line now. No amount of Americans waving blue and white flags will "save" you this time. It's your time to get up and follow a leader, that's worth following, or at least get rid of the leaders that should be ashamed to exist in your precious country.

Nighty night, Dftss, and the omer :-)

~ Shulamit

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Tzipi, Save Us!

this is even worse than a picture of a pig, trust me

O Tzipke, now that Olmert is tottering please take over from the good-for-nothing men so that the Female Underground may become the Female Overground and finally bring peace between us and our virile neighbors who simply need a good motherly hug from our women to come to their senses and let us live.

For Tzipke my Tzipke, we know that women can make peace while men are silly neanderthal war machines. May we live to see UNSC Resolution 1325 implemented in the Middle East, and may all those hirsute Israeli men go away and be buried under a mountain of child support payments while the rest of us eat shawarma and knafeh with those husky mustachioed Ayerabs and their great after-shave. Yay!

PS: how do I know nobody is actually going to bother to click that last link and read it and try to understand that the feminist movement is the most potent force for Western appeasement out there? Because I do, I'm smart like that. Who in his right mind is going to bother trying to find out what 'gender mainstreaming' even means? It's much easier to walk to Homesh and say hayo lo tihyeh, which is all the Israeli right is there for I guess.

Yippee! We walked around the Border Police! Messiah is coming for sure.

(Gil Ronen and his silly rants. What did his mother do to him?).

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Phyllis Chesler Gets It Right

Phyllis Chesler thinks if you are a feminist, you are supposed to cheer the West in its fight against the Muslim "gender apartheid" culture. She wrote a book called "The Death of Feminism."

Col. Jack Jacobs is so cool! We need heroes. We need heroes. People in wartime need heroes!

New Jacobs interview.

Old Jacobs interview.

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Things That Make Ya' go Kumah

As a news writer, I wade through hundreds of articles, press releases, email forwards and anthrax-laden pieces of snail mail a day. Below, I offer you the most interesting stuff I saw in a 24 hour period sometime last week (or so. It got put aside, but remains riveting):


Birthright B'Aliyah (B'Taoot?)

Flora B'Aliyah

Columbia U Prof On the Teaneck First-step-on-Aliyah-to-Yesha fair (He much prefers Haim Yavin at the JCC)

If the face of Israel to American Jews is the face of settlement beyond the separation barrier deep into the West Bank - not settlement in the Negev or Galilee, which could enjoy across-the-board support - then the prophecy indeed will fulfill itself. Zionism will become the province of only those who define it most stridently and most controversially. Zionism will become tantamount to Eretz Yisrael rather than Medinat Yisrael. And that is a dilemma for America Jewry just as surely as for its Israel brethren.

I guess he prefers expropriating land from Arab Bedouin in the Negev and invading the Galilee (from the perspective of the Arab residents). I can't wait for Haim Yavin's documentary on that. Then these folks will start only donating toward building taller and taller skyscrapers in Tel Aviv. We really may see a day when "pragmatic" voices will suggest that we use modern technology to really allow the Arabs to drive us into the sea, where we can live comfortably on man-made landmasses and cruise-ships. ("It is the only way to allow the Muslim world to save face," they will explain. "They were promised by their leaders that they would drive us into the sea and once we are all there, their hatred will subside and we can totally visit mainland, including Hevron and Jerusalem, until nightfall, when we must return to our dingies.")

Why does The LA Times recognize Israel's 'right to exist'? Excellent question. It is just a matter of consistency and justice.

Benny Morris, the Christ-turned-Anti-Christ of Post-Zionism and the New Historians explains to the Washington Post why transfer is the way it has got to be.

If you will it Dude, it is no dream - Im Tirtzu. A neighbor's project (Hebrew only)

And the grand finale! The Machlises finally have their own web site

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Dell, and being A Jew

So I got a new dell computer, and my luck, with in 24 hours, I had a list of problems. So I called tech support, and even used my "daytime" minutes on my cell, in case they closed early or something, and you know when you get something new, you want it to work perfectly, like immediately.

Dell reps are really sweet, and after 20 min, I was directed to the right place. A lovely lady got on the phone, and I told her all my problems. She notified me that she would have to log into my computer to get a hands on look.


Now, why would I mind if she logged into my computer, I have nothing to hide. So I logged off AIM and let her in.

The first thing she did was open Internet Explorer. Even though I had the computer for less then 24 hours, my home page was already set to www.Arutzsheva.com. And then, the weirdest thing happened, when the site loaded, and I knew that at that moment this lovely dell person knew I was a Jew, I felt embarrassed. I wanted to close the screen, or at least put a different website on. I actually felt bad that she now knew, that I was a Jew, and a political, right wing one; since the main topics were, well... about Livni not kissing up to the EU...

Why should I feel ashamed to be a Jew? To someone I never met, and never will? I wanted her to think i was just an average American, But I'm NOT, I'm a Jew, and should not have to feel bad, when others find out. I couldn't believe that I was getting all uptight and nervous that she wont fix my computer properly, or she will add a virus or something ABSURD like that. Then I thought, well if I felt it, other people do also, but why?

Sometimes I feel like its a secret that we are Jews. Like we are the big green elephant in the corner, that no one talks about, but we all know is there. I don't want to have to hide who I am, to a DELL TECHNICIAN!!! Its my right and my heritage to be proud being a Jew.

So after the 2.5 hour convo, with Fahara, from Asia, I am getting a new Dell shipped over to me, and made myself promise that I will not become embarrassed or ashamed next time someone finds out I am a Jew. In fact, I told her how much I loved Israel, and that one day I will be living there, and then as a good Jew, I invited her over if she ever came to Israel to visit :-)

The funny thing was, I felt so much better after. I felt that she knew I was a proud Jew and even if she was a Muslim, she now knows that there is a Dell customer that Loves Israel so much that within 24 hours, made her home page relate to it.

So all of you out there... go tell someone that might not know your Jewish, that you ARE and your one of those PROUD ones, that doesn't hide, but lets themselves shine, in every aspect!!!

Good night, dftss, ttfn.

~ Shulamit

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Smokers Beware: Torah Still In Effect On Purim (Graphic Photos)

So here's the story. I remember back in tenth grade we were invited to our high school rebbe's house on Purim. And it was loads of fun. One guy even had a pack of cigarettes because after all on Purim you don't have to keep the Torah. A few of my classmates snuck outside to smoke including "A" (we'll leave his full name out.)

That was "A's" first cigarette but not nearly his last. He started smoking regularly and then even became a heavy chain smoker. Later he developed severe respiratory problems. Last August my friend "A" passed away at the ripe old age of 27.

Smoking Kills. The Torah demands one to "heed to yourself and guard your life strongly" (Devarim 4:9). Remember all Torah laws, both positive and negative, remain in effect for both Purim and Shushan Purim. You don't have to break Torah laws to celebrate on Purim!

Have fun! Be jolly! Stay safe!

Now for the graphic photos if you smokers are not convinced. (Warning: if you get queasy easily don't continue viewing the rest of this post...)

This is what a healthy lung looks like:


And this is what smoking does to it:


Let's review. Healthy:


And the smoker's:


Still not convinced:


Here's more:


Think about it!


Chag Samayach!

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David Melech Yisrael Chai Vikayam! --or--Dudu for President

We all know by now that Israel's government is corrupt and devoid of high moral standing, both in the eyes of Israelis and the world at large. I don't intend to go into all the sordid details now. That we can save for several upcoming posts.

But the situation is in desperate need of repair, and many argue that we need to start at the top of the political ladder and work down to solve our leadership crisis.

The President of Israel is considered Israel's highest public servant. He certainly is the highest paid. The current term of President Moshe Katzav officially ends in June, if he is not tossed out of office beforehand for sexual misconduct, possibly rape.

The Israeli populace agrees that we need to restore dignity to this position with a man or woman of exemplary character, that can well represent what the modern nation of Israel is all about.

I nominate Dudu.