Peace Process Paradigm Shift

Over the weekend, Syrian deputy Foreign Minister Faysal Mekdad stated that Syria has "other options to liberate the Golan," should the peace talks ongoing with Israel fail to achieve the desired Syrian outcome.

Or, as the headline from the Jerusalem Post put it: Syria: Peace isn't the only way to get Golan

That may be so, but Syria would be wise to remember that peace isn't the only way for Israel to attain quiet along her borders. Eventually, there will come a time when the leadership of the Jewish State will understand that, as well.

Contrary to what many believe, all those living in Israel want peace, it's just a question of the best way of achieving it.

If I were ever elected Prime Minister of Israel, I would be prepared to pursue peace with all of Israel's neighbors.

During these peace talks, I would show the map featured above, featuring one opinion of the ultimate borders of the Land of Israel, based on their description in the Bible.

I would make it clear that Israel is prepared to live in peace with all of her Arab neighbors, until the Messiah comes, in the small area between the Jordan River and the Mediterranean Sea.

Peace, meaning that you leave us alone, and we will leave you alone.

However, it would be made clear that should any hostilities arise against the Jewish State or People from any area on the map included in the ultimate borders of Israel, then Israel would enter those areas, liberate them, and incorporate them into the Jewish State - never to leave them.

Sure enough, Syria happens to appear on the map.

Of course, being a moderate that values peace, I do not advocate pressing the claim of the Jewish people to Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, or any of the other countries presently neighboring Israel.

I imagine that it would not take long for Israel's neighbors to learn that concessions are not Israel's only method for attaining peace, and such a realization by the Arab's might even bring lasting peace to the region.

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Modern Day Maccabees?

Erev Chanukah in Jpost:

OC Chaplaincy Brig.-Gen. Rav Avichai Ronzki: "We are supposed to be a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. We are here to be a light unto the nations, in all ways - morally, socially, spiritually and value-wise; a nation that is engaged in all aspects of running a sovereign state economically, militarily and politically."

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Media Analysis for Rosh Hashana

Mama said knock you out!

Class, let us look at this piece in Ynet B'Ivrit, shall we?

The headline says - Soldier's Mother: "I'm Calm, the Kid Isn't Going Back to Zikim"

You see, this item and the talkbacks to it actually encapsulate much of Israel's pacifist problem, and its solution.

As we learned in the first semester of this course, the Left in Israel has been using a Cindy Sheehan "Mother" type approach very successfuly over the past 20 years. The discourse is 50% radical post-marxist feminism, 50% Yiddishe-mameh castrative.

The article's heading and the use of of the word "child/children" with regard to the soldiers doing basic training in Zikim are classic Yiddishe-feminist-pacifist defeatism. The Middle East's toughest army, the IDF, is not being bombed by terrorist scum, the subtext says. Jewish children are being bombed and their mothers/parents will save them by evacuating them from Zikim. There is no masculine army defending us, it says. There are only children who long for their mothers' comforting hug.

Sub-subtext: WE ARE DOOMED.

As of 8:15 Wednesday, the item is top story in Ynet. The lowdown on the attack on Syria is (pardon me) lower down, despite being much more significant militarily and more recent. Taking it a step further - the headline actually tries to answer the criticism that the editor (probably one of the feminist-pacifists who abound behind the scenes in Ynet) knows is coming: no, the mother says, I'm not being hysterical. "I'm calm." But my child is staying home, i.e. refusing to serve. Because the big bad men of Gaza shot a rocket at him.

Those of us old and wise enough to know how this kind of discourse took over our lives during Shelly Yechimovich's years in Voice of Israel, and how it featured in the "Four Mothers" campaign, and how IDF bases have been taken over by mothers (and fathers) with the help of Yechimovich sidekick Carmela Menashe, and how sick and weak this made the army - know what the danger is.

What I am happy about is the talkbacks. If you want to enjoy them, you'd better learn you some Ivrit.

Shana Tova - this bodes well.

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The Secret Weapon of the IDF

All the nations of the world will see that G-d's Name is associated with you, and they will be in awe of you. (Devarim 28:10).

Menachot 35b interprets this verse as a reference to the tefillin worn on the head.



When the Gentiles see the Jews proudly attired in tefillin, they respect them. Tefillin cast an aura of fear over Israel's foes. Even demons and spirits will tremble in fright (Jerusalem Talmud, Berachot 5a).



The first letters of Shem Hashem Nikrah, "G-d's Name is associated," spell out the name of the letter SHiN. A Shin bolts out of either side of the head tefillin. It is the first letter of Sha-D-I. (Baal HaTurim).



"Tefillin are G-d's crown... Whoever dons this crown will become the ruler below, as G-d is the ruler above" (Zoher III 269b).



Similarly, Berachot 56a maintains that a person who sees tefillin in his dreams will soon rise to power. Berahot (6a) interprets "G-d's powerful arm" (Isaiah 62:8) as tefillin. "Tefillin grant power to Israel."



Accordingly, it has always been customary for Jewish soldiers to observe the mitzvah of tefillin with great care.



Text taken from Meam Loez on Ki Tavo p. 150. Photos collected from the Internet.

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Memorial A Year Later

On this date 1 year ago, 3 Israeli soldiers were killed in a Hizbullah ambush. 1 of the 3 soldiers was an American whose dream was to serve in the IDF, and even cut short a family vacation back in his old home in Pennsylvania to join the army in last summer's war. Here are a few articles about Michael: JPost, YNet, a friend's memorial page, etc. I attended a memorial service at Har Herzl military cemetery in Jerusalem this afternoon Yonatan Einhorn Z"L, but unfortunately had to leave before the one for Michael Levin Z"L started. Here are some pictures of Yonatan's memorial and Michael's grave:

 

 

 

 

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Sins of Omission

""One long year has passed since IDF soldiers Gilad Shalit, Ehud Goldwasser, and Eldad Regev were kidnapped by Hamas and Hezbollah. Show the world we have not forgotten and will not forget them. Join us in demanding their immediate and unconditional release...""

Unfortunately though, it seems that the organizers of next week's rally for the MIA's at the UN have "forgotten" the rest of our missing soldiers...


In addition to praying daily for Gilad ben Aviva, Ehud ben Malka & Eldad ben Tova,
we won't stop davening for:
Yekutiel Yehuda Nachman ben Sarah (Katz)
Zecharia Shlomo ben Miriam (Baumel)
Zvi ben Penina (Feldman)
Ron ben Batya (Arad)
Guy ben Rina (Hever)

Their families and all of Am Yisrael who await their return will not forget them (even if the Conference of Presidents has)


Rally @ The UN
Monday, July 16th, 2007
12:00 noon / Rain or Shine
Dag Hammarskjold Plaza (1st Ave. and 47th St.)

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40 Years Ago

(AP)

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Glenn's History of the Middle East... in a Couple of Minutes

Glenn Beck is perhaps the only thing worth watching on CNN... This is an oldie but a classic!

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Yom HaZikaron, Golan Style

I'll admit it, I'm a crier. It's in my DNA. My mother is a crier. My Grandmother is a crier. I'm a crier. Lot's of things can set me off. Certainly saying goodbye to my crying grandmother, not knowing when I'll see her again makes me cry. A "realistic" Holocaust film portraying the Selection often makes me cry. Avinu Malkeinu during the Neilah service of Yom Kippur is one of the most powerful moments of the year for me. As I watch the Gates of Heaven closing for the last time of the year my heart is wrent in two as I beseech, beg really, Hashem for an ounce of His endless mercy to keep me and protect me one more year. I'm usually pretty certain He'll oblige, but the Grandness of the moment always overtakes me and leaves me sobbing in my Talit.

Yom HaZikaron can have the same effect on me. Last night's ceremony on Moshav Yonatan was one of the most moving Yom HaZikaron ceremonies I've been to since making Aliyah. Moshav Yonatan is named for Yonatan Rozenman, z"l who was killed on the Golan Heights in the Yom Kippur War and is the brother of one of the founders. The ceremony, like all Yom HaZikaron ceremonies began with the shrill siren, like a mechanical, monotone shofar. After a beautiful slide show of all the family and friends killed serving our country my son got a little tired, so I picked him up and held him the rest of the ceremony. Next everyone sang the seemingly simple request from Psalms: May there be peace within your wall, serenity within your palaces. That's when I lost it. A seemingly simple request, yet we're so far from it. As I sang that Psalm and nuzzled my nose into the sweet, musky, sweaty peyot of my three and a half year old boy, it finally hit home how badly we want peace within our wall and serenity within our palaces, but what it takes to achieve it. I felt pride at one day seeing my boy defend our Homeland but immediately was struck with the horrific, unspeakable sacrifice that could entail. I began sobbing into his little sweaty head. He let me sob for a few minutes, then took my wet cheeks in his little hands, kissed my lips, said, "Daddy, I love you" and put his head back on my shoulder.

After that it was difficult to regain composure, but I tried. We then sang one of Rambam's Thirteen Priciples of Faith: I believe with complete faith in the coming of the Mashiach, and even though eh may delay, nevertheless I anticipate every day that he will come. Here is a community that does believe with complete faith in our final Redemption, but that inevitability hasn't left them paralyzed in the Diaspora. In fact, it is the opposite; this is their, our, my, true inspiration that motivates us every second of the day to make this Home of ours better, holier and ever more prepared for our destiny.

There is no doubt the future is uncertain, but the memory of my boy taking my wet cheeks, kissing me and telling me that he loves me as I cry for our difficult past and dangerous future on Yom Hazikaron 5767 will be with me eternally.

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Yom HaZikaron Photo Essay

It has been a very meaningful Israeli Memorial Day. I was hoping to have time to put all my pictures on the blog, but unfortunately I only had time to add them to a Facebook album. Very worthwhile - many pictures from Har Herzl today. Read the comments for the pictures too. IY"H I'll do a more extensive photo essay here on the blog later. Click here for the pictures: Yom HaZikaron Photo Album

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Zikaron

Also check out my Yom HaZikaron article.

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Yom HaZikaron 5767

You can feel the heaviness of the day. It's nothing at all like Memorial Day in America - which to most Americans is simply about sales and the beginning of Summer. Here almost all Israelis know of one (or sadly more) soldier personally that fell so that Israel could be. Here it's personal.

The flag on the Knesset is lowered to half staff (above.) And the nation grinds to a halt to remember who made this all possible as the siren sounds (below.)

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Post-Pesach Links That Make You go Kumah

Haaretz offers a fairly accurate reading of the extra-parliamentary lay of the land among the Land of Israel groups, as well as weekly "parsha" sheets (though they forget Yechiel's).

Ari Shavit stops short of offering the explanation for what brought us to the place his disillusioned soldiers describe. “No, the war didn't start this. The war didn't cause the crisis…" He can’t quite put his finger on it. Here's a hint, Ari. The D word – no, not that one - you used that plenty. I'm talking the meaningless one Eyal Arad came up with that sounded way better than retreat.

Omedia launches in English. Covers the leftist/Arab assault on Sde Boaz orchards.

I could have sworn I heard Channel 2 TV call the new Jewish property in Hevron Beit Hameriva (Conflict House) as though that were its name (the real name is Beit HaShalom - Peace House). I though I must have misheard. Turns out I didn't. Ruti Avraham explains (in Hebrew A7).

Aviad Vissouly weighs in on the legal aspects of Israel negating the right of Jews to purchase property (also Hebrew A7).

ADDeRabbi makes me laugh with: "I was simply surprised that carrying in a ‘carmelis’ would be someone’s ‘line in the sand’ (sorry, bad pun) for observance."

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Found: Real Israeli ish

You know when you're looking for something and no matter what you do, you can't find it, but when you're not looking for it, poof it appears... Well during one of my rants, I spoke about the Israeli that I was raised looking up to, and desiring to emulate, and how I can't seem to find them any more. Well I found ONE!!! A real one, the one that has no clue about politics or what "should" be done, instead, just does what he feels is right for his nation and his people, and asks questions later. The one that can take you down, with one hand behind his back, blindfolded, with a rubber band. The invincible lion of Israel.

So it all started when I needed a car service to the airport. I knew there was going to be a snowstorm over the weekend, so I didn't want to park my car in long term parking, because I don't do well with shovels and cold. After calling some places, the lowest price I got was $25 to JFK. My roommate told me about one more car service that is run by Israeli's, and I decided to give them a shot.



Me: "hi, how much is it to JFK"

Car Guy: "eh where you coming from"

Me: "Brooklyn"

Car Guy: "eh ok ok, for you 35"

Me: "um well I just called safe way, and their price is 25, can you do better"

Car Guy: "eh, what, no way, the lowest 32"

Me: "hum, well they said 25, I can make a conference call with you"

Car Guy: "eh, um, ok, hold on"

New Car Guy (way worse accent): "What you want?"

Me: "um, a car to JFK for 25"

New Car Guy: "listen, we are Jews, we keep kosher, we don't get subsidized by the government, the lowest I can give you is 30"

Me: (my Jewish consciousness kicking in) "ok fine, but you have to come on time"

Okay, so the conversation should have told me something about this car service, but that was nothing compared to the guy that came to pick me up... As suspected, he was 10 minutes late, first sign of a true Israeli. He pulls up in a huge SUV, while yelling at someone on the phone. He motions for me to come, and realizing that he wasn't going to help me with my luggage, I began lugging it myself. He told me I had to sit in the front seat, since he didn't have a license for taxi service to an airport, second sign. So I get into the car (it was green, so that made me happy), he asks me how I am going to pay, and I said I gave the dispatcher my credit card already. I can tell he was upset, so I asked if everything was okay, he said he doesn't like to take credit, only cash. So I'm like, well, he already charged my credit card, but I'll give you a tip in cash; that perked him up little.

We started making small talk, nothing major. He was being very cautious with his questions, and I was like, I don't care, just get me to JFK on time, and it's all good. But then he asks where I'm from, I say "FL what about you?" He responds with an astonished "What you mean, Israel of course." I respond with a sarcastic "Yeh okay, so what are you doing here?" And here comes his excuse "well I have to be here for a couple of months, but I am going back soon, there is no place like Israel, its my home, its where you can really live." Humm, I think, maybe this guy has something there, let's have some fun.

"Okay so if you say you can only really live in Israel, what do you think about the current government; I don't think they let people really live there." He looks at me, long and hard, then says, "you know what, I'll tell you something, I was in the Golani brigade, I was positioned in Beirut for 3 years, this government is nothing, they will be behind bars soon, they have no military experience, they are little toys, like nothing" and he flicks his fingers to demonstrate this nothingness. So I respond, "Yeh, okay, they might be little toys, but they are the ones in power, I don't see you commanding any troops". I can tell I was pushing the right buttons, because I can see some steam coming out of his ears (third sign he is an Israeli) He responds in a stern voice "listen to me, you don't know what is going on, you will see, we will take back power, the people know this is not a real government, they will take it over, you will see, trust me, I know, I have seen, I know." So I'm still not impressed, "words are nice" I said, "but action, is what New Yorkers look for, and right now, all I hear from you is words. You say that this government has no military background, but look at Sharon, he had military background, and he gave back Gaza, look how much problems we are getting because he allowed this to happen." Okay, I think to myself, I got him, what is he going to say now? I mean, I am right, I cornered him, see, I am more of an Israeli then him!!! However, to my surprise, my comment make no effect on him, he just looked at me and said, "do you know what Sharon said when he gave Gaza back? Well he said I am giving this (Gaza) to you, but whenever I need it, I will take it back, just know that when I want it, I can get it back in a second."

And there it was, staring me in the face, that look that he didn't care, didn't care about politics, didn't care about what everyone thought, didn't care what people would say, just cared that when he would need it, he would get it back. He didn't have the look of "I will fight and get it back" it was the look "I will get it back, that is the only option." At that point, I took out my camcorder, and wanted to interview him, because I wanted to show what I saw, since I was not sure I would be able to relate it as it was. But the fourth sign of him being an Israeli, he refused to be in any photography, saying he wasn't allowed to be "seen." Nice I thought, just what I would expect him to say.

The rest of the ride was amazing. We talked about how he envisioned Israel, and how he knows without a doubt in his mind, that it will come to be. He told me to trust him, and know that there are people in Israel that know how to fight and get what they need, without being bogged down with policies and bureaucratic procedures.

Maybe I was being unrealistic when I believed him, and maybe not. Maybe they are there, living quietly in Israel and when the time comes, will take over the military, and finally do it right, get it right, and have Israel be the right place for Jews. Run by Jews, for Jews.

Be strong, we shall overcome, and we will get our captive soldiers back (faster if we let this taxi driver take command) they exist, I met one, and where there is one, there has to be more!!!

Have an AMAZING Pesach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ Shulamit, DFTSS, TTFN uh

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So much for being a hardcore settler...

Back in November 2006, Peace Now came out with a report which claimed, among other things, that Ma'aleh Adumim, the largest Jewish community in Judea and Samaria - just east of Jerusalem, with a population of 30,000+ (and growing), and where I happen to live, was in fact built (86%) on private "Palestinian" land.

In all honesty, I was elated.

Why, you might ask?

Simply put, even though Ma'aleh Adumim is techinically over the "Green Line", as far as "settlements" go, it's kind of lame, as Ma'aleh Adumim is unquestionably a part of the Israeli consensus regarding the future borders of the State of Israel.

However, that all changed once the Peace Now report came out, and overnight Ma'aleh Adumim went from being this nice, quiet city just outside of Jerusalem, in the hillside of the Judean desert, to being a bastion of ultra-nationalist, hardcore settlers, building their homes on the stolen land of peace-loving, innocent "Palestinians".

Finally!

Once and for all, I was able to walk with my head held high amongst my peers, many of whom are living in "outposts", caravans, and "settlements" far more "provocative" than Ma'aleh Adumim.

Until today, that is.

Unsurprisingly, the aforementioned Peace Now report has been debunked.

IDF data show flaws in Peace Now report

In November, Peace Now claimed that 86 percent of Ma'aleh Adumim was built on private Palestinian land. After successfully petitioning the court to see the database, the group reported Wednesday that data show that only 0.5% of the settlement is built on private land.

"The first report they released had major mistakes," said Capt. Zidki Maman, spokesman for the Civil Administration in the West Bank.

Well, it was fun while it lasted, but it seems like I must return to being the mild-mannered, "just outside of Jerusalem," consensus Ze'ev.

Eizeh basa!

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A Letter Jacket For My Wife... Israel Style

I never got to give my wife a Letter Jacket. I was never on one of those teams, nor did I know my wife when I had a chance to be the Yeshiva High school star quarterback.

But now, I'm an Israeli, and I go to reserve duty, and so...
Here is the Israeli version of the Letter Jacket:

The Tzahal Fleece!!! (which my reserve unit gave out)



Check out some of my Miluim photos...

That's me!


Here are some of my buddies: this is Meyer!


This is Eran making the tea!


This is Kfir (he has long hair, and he's a new guy)


A beautiful sunset in Eretz Yisrael


One last comment - even if the IDF has problems, when you go to miluim you get to:

1. Speak Hebrew with Am Yisrael
2. See Eretz Yisrael
3. Protect both Am Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael

No wonder that miluim is still a beloved Israeli experience. We all pray, all my buddies included, that our government will use our army properly, to fight our enemies, and protect our people, and not the other way around.

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Malkah Sends Her Man to Miluim

During the latest Lebanon war, Yishai was drafted for a couple of weeks, making me an official Israeli wife. You can read about it in our archives.

I think I was a real trooper during the war. Thank G-d, my husband was not sent into Lebanon, and so I didn't suffer the terrible sleeplessness and terror that other wives were subjected to. However, my husband did call me from the makeshift bunkers of his base as bombs from Lebanon fell in their vicinity, and he was closely involved with a helicopter that was blown up with 5 of our brave brothers and sisters inside. With all this going on, I maintained a don't-freak-out-and-maniacally-cry attitude. I didn't obsessively call, and I put on a "brave face" when we spoke on the phone - I was a good soldier's wife.

That being said, I found myself extremely agitated and disinclined to send my husband for a mere two days to his latest peace-time (ha!) "tour of duty" in the reserves.

There are many reasons for my hesitation.

First, I am concerned with the disorganization of the IDF. Yishai was released from duty 3 times during his miluim (reserve duty), and called back hours later on two of those occasions. Such indecision not only robbed me of confidence in our armed forces, but was an emotional rollercoaster for both of us. Though the army called Yishai in for just 2 days for this latest miluim, I know that at any moment (and even days after he returns home), the powers-that-be could change the plans, and extend his service.

Secondly, there is something about serving in the north of Israel that frightens me now. I feel that our enemies are emboldened, and our forces confused and poorly equipped. If the IDF were drafting my man to a real fight, would they prepare him to win? Would they look after his welfare? Or would they use him as a political pawn, as an expendable resource?

Third, every woman believes that her husband is involved in productive work throughout the course of his day. Whether he makes sneakers, teaches kids, learns Torah, or tries to inspire people to love Israel, he is a productive member of society, a source of joy, comfort, and help at home, and an otherwise beloved person (hopefully). Don't get me wrong - I'm an advocate of vacation. I'm even an advocate of Israel's governmentally-imposed man-vacation, in which men are required to leave their situations for a given amount of time, to don green uniforms, and to guard, build, or help someone or something. But I am not an advocate of time-wasting. Let vacation be vacation-like. Let work be work-like. But the hurry-up-and-wait nature of the army is a waste of time for me, for my husband, and for the IDF.

I get nervous about future wars. I know that my husband will probably be drafted to real war again, that I will have to send him off again, and worry if he's staying dry and warm. My whole happiness, my whole life, and my sense of security will be put on the line again, in the name of the Jewish State. And with all this, I will continue to send my husband to serve in the IDF. I would rather suffer the uncertainty and stress of this life we live than to sit in seeming security anywhere else. I'm proud of my husband, and of all the other Jewish men who leave home to serve their people. May G-d reward you for all that you are willing to give, and protect you from doing so.

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Feiglin on the Misguided Arrow Missile

Moshe Feiglin, who led mass civil disobedience in Israel following Oslo and coordinated the road-blockings pre-Disengagement via proxy (not to mention inching ever closer to taking the helm of the Likud), weaves a tale that sums up the progression from Camp David to Oslo to the Wall to the Arrow Missile.

(Normally I would not reprint a whole article - but this isn't anywhere else online yet - when it is I'll link):

Happiness is a Magic Gun
By Moshe Feiglin
13 Shvat, 5767

The peaceful townspeople hoped that the new sheriff would succeed; all his predecessors had failed. Time and again, bands of robbers would attack the town, shoot in every direction, murder, rob and get away unharmed. All the people responsible for the town's security had promised to make peace with the robbers. This made it impossible to defeat them.

It was like a collective mental illness. The townspeople, after all, had built the town in an attempt to create a new, normal identity for themselves. They wanted to be just an ordinary town and live in peace with their neighbors. But the neighbors didn't like the townspeople's new identity. They fought them constantly.

And so, the town couldn't triumph. Triumph would mean that there was no peace. Without peace, the town could not be an ordinary place. So the townspeople decided that it was "impossible to defeat terror," and tried to solve the problem with protective walls, separation fences and roadblocks. No doubt about it; it was a type of mental illness.

The situation went from bad to worse. So the townspeople blamed the residents of the isolated houses at the edge of the town. "They upset the robbers," the sheriffs explained to the townspeople. "It's their fault that we don't have peace with the robbers. Why should we die for them, anyway?"

So instead of fighting the robbers, every new sheriff would fight the townspeople who lived at the edge of town. The last sheriff went one step farther. He even demolished all the isolated houses at the edge of town and threw all the poor townspeople who lived there to the dogs. The regular townspeople were very impressed with the brave sheriff's glorious victory and elected him for an additional term in office by a large majority.

But then the brave sheriff had a stroke. A new sheriff replaced him. He had already learned how to be popular in the peaceful town. "My predecessor bravely disengaged from a few isolated houses," he said. "But I will be much braver than him. I will have the entire town converge into the Town Square!"

The robbers got the idea and vigorously attacked all the remaining houses in town. This time they did more than rob and plunder; they also abducted some of the townspeople before getting away. The new sheriff tried to prove to the townspeople that he could protect them from the borders of the Town Square. He tried to fight the robbers according to accepted town practice -- from the plasma screen in his office.

The robbers laughed and laughed. They went to live at the edge of town, where the isolated townspeople used to live. From there, they would shoot at the frightened townspeople whenever they pleased. The new sheriff even shot back. After a month, though, the new sheriff understood that he could simply not win. So he announced that he won and stopped shooting. The robbers also stopped shooting. What did they care? The hostages were still in their hands, and they needed to rest and re-supply, anyway.

The Magic Gun
The new sheriff had a serious problem. The townspeople no longer had faith in him. He had become the laughingstock of the town. His loyal aides explained that he must present some sort of solution. If not, they warned, the fate of his career would be sealed.

"Do not fear," said the sheriff to the weary and frightened townspeople. "We are working on the perfect solution. We have an unbeatable plan to protect you."

While the townspeople gazed on in astonishment, the sheriff demonstrated his new Magic Gun solution. "The Magic Gun will allow us to make peace with the robbers -- even if they don't stop shooting. When the next robber comes," the sheriff enthusiastically explained, "we will do nothing to endanger peace. When the robber will provoke the townspeople, I won't even have to leave my office. That could endanger the normalization of our relations with them, you understand."

"When the robber waves his gun, I will explain that it is nothing more than a water gun. That will prevent unnecessary friction. And when the robber will point his gun straight at the heart of a little towns-girl, I will be able to continue my daily nap. And when the robber pulls the trigger, I will just turn over in my bed."

"But," the sheriff excitedly added, "when the bullet leaves the gun, everything will change. The Magic Gun will rapidly identify the flying bullet. It will jump from my belt, even while I'm still sleeping, home-in on the robber's gun, shoot a magic bullet at the robber's bullet and destroy it in mid-air. The robber will not be harmed at all, and that way we will be able to continue with our peaceful neighborly relations."

The townspeople were very excited. Finally, somebody had found the way to make true peace. Finally, they could be an ordinary town, like everyone else. There was one Nuisance there who tried to ask what would happen if the robbers would shoot more than one bullet at a time. He even reminded the townspeople that recently, the sheriff had given the robbers automatic guns. "Furthermore," the Nuisance added, "every magic bullet costs one trillion dollars. Even if the magic works, after one round of robbers' bullets, we will have to leave our town to find food for our children!"

The townspeople got very angry at the Nuisance. On their television, they repeatedly displayed the amazing new technology that was behind the Magic Gun. They were in no mood to let a few warmongering Nuisances ruin their dream of being ordinary townspeople. They let out their anger on some of the Nuisances' settlements and gave the good and pragmatic robbers more money and automatic weapons so that they could fight the bad, religious robbers.

And so, the perfect solution was finally found to restore peace and quiet to the town. Finally, the townspeople could blend in normally with their surroundings. The robbers robbed and murdered, the sheriff ruled in his sleep, the Nuisances were gotten rid of, the townspeople p